Leading Leaders: Communication

danielm Featured, Leadership, Leading Leaders

Focused Communication


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    Guarding Our Lips

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Leaders need to be especially careful of what they say and how they say it. We need to choose our words with great intention. Without guarding our tongue, may problems can result. We see this clearly identified in the Book of James.

There are many scriptures that back this up, including:

  • Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3 NIV
  • My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” James 1:19
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    Taming our Tongue

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James also talks about our tongue.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. James 1:26

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:5-12

Personally, I struggle with controlling what I say. The Bible is clear that I can’t do it. I realize that I have been trying in my own strength to control my tongue. What I need to do it turn this struggle over to God. Thought the Holy Spirt, my tongue will be tamed. In the book of Proverbs, I get specific direction:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

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    My Prayer

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So, here is my prayer …

“Lord, help me to let go of trying to run my own life. Help me to give you total and complete control over my life. And especially my tongue. Please help me yield what I say to your will and your way. May nothing impure or unholy come out of my mouth. Amen.”

It is comforting to know that I don’t have to do anything more than to let go. A saying worth remembering comes to mind: “Let go and let God.” As James writes:

.”..but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8

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    The Only Solution

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The only solution is described by the Apostle Paul.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7: 14-20

If the Apostle Paul struggles with this fight, it is no wonder that I do too. What is the answer? Again, we are led back to the same conclusion. Only by the grace of God, thought his Holy Spirt, by letting go of our attempts to control, will be see victory in this area of taming the tongue.

Coaching Questions:

  1. Are you trying to control what you say in your own strength, or are you relying on the strength of the Holy Spirit?
  2. How can you lean more on God and less on yourself
  3. How much time do you spend every day listening to the Lord and giving him permission to control every aspect of your being?
  4. Ideally, how much time would you like to spend
  5. What is getting in the way of your desire?
  6. What actions can you take to achieve this goal?
  7. How will you measure success?