Leading Through the Hard Conversations
There’s a quiet storm that every leader eventually faces.
It’s not the kind that shows up on a forecast. It doesn’t come with thunder or lightning.
It shows up in a conversation you’ve been avoiding. In a tension you’ve been tiptoeing around.
In a relationship where something just isn’t right—but you’re not sure how to fix it.
And so… you wait.
You hope it resolves itself. You address the symptoms. You stay at the surface. But leaders don’t grow in the shallow end.
The Storm Most Leaders Avoid
In my recent Be the Bison conversation, Troy Duble, President of Canaan Group, shared a story many leaders will recognize.
Early in his leadership journey, he hired someone he believed in—someone thoughtful, capable, and aligned in values. But over time, something wasn’t working, and a storm was brewing.
Performance lagged. Expectations were unclear. Frustration quietly built. And instead of stepping fully into the storm, Troy did what many leaders do:
He circled it. He addressed behaviors… but not the root. He protected the relationship… but avoided the truth. He hoped clarity would come… but without courage.
“I was addressing symptoms, not the problem.”
Why We Run From the Storm
At the core, it wasn’t a strategy issue. It was a fear issue.
Fear of breaking the relationship
Fear of hurting someone
Fear of not having the answer
And perhaps most revealing:
Fear of being exposed as the leader who didn’t have it all figured out. So instead of leading like the bison—into the storm—he drifted like cattle… away from it.
The Turning Point: When the Storm Breaks
Ironically, the breakthrough didn’t begin with the leader. It began with personal honesty.
“Troy, it seems like you’re frustrated with me. What’s going on?” That moment broke the seal. And what followed wasn’t clean. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t comfortable. There was tension. There was conflict. There was a “blow-up.”
But there was also something deeper: Truth. Truth, when paired with humility and the right timing, creates transformation.
The Leadership Shift
What Troy discovered is one of the most powerful lessons a leader can learn: You don’t need to have the solution, but you need to care enough to stay in the problem. Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to pursue them—together.
It’s about moving from:
Control to Collaboration
Assumption to Curiosity
Pride to Repentance
“I had to say, ‘I’ve led poorly.’” That’s not a weakness. That’s leadership.
What Happens When You Face the Storm
When Troy finally stepped into the storm:
The conflict increased before it decreased
The relationship stretched before it strengthened
The truth surfaced before solutions emerged
But on the other side?
Something remarkable happened. They didn’t just fix the issue. They built something stronger. “We are now best of buddies… and we do life together.”
The Bison Lesson
Bison don’t run from storms. They run into them—because instinctively they know: The fastest way through the storm… is straight through it.
As leaders, we often do the opposite.
We delay hard conversations.
We soften difficult truths.
We hope time will solve what courage must confront.
But the storm doesn’t go away. It grows.
Your Leadership Challenge
Where are you circling a storm right now?
A conversation you’ve delayed
A team member you haven’t been honest with
A tension you’ve been managing instead of resolving
What would it look like to:
Step in with courage
Lead with humility
Stay long enough to get to the heart of the matter
Not with all the answers… But with a commitment to care deeply and lead faithfully.
Final Thought: Lead With Love, Not Certainty
The greatest leaders are not those who always know what to do. They are the ones who:
Care more about people than their own pride
Stay present in the tension
Lead with courage and repentance
And ultimately…they choose to Be the Bison.
