When the Storm Reveals the Leader Within

Every leader eventually faces a storm they cannot outwork, outthink, or outrun.

For Todd Engstrom, that storm did not arrive all at once. It built slowly, like the storm fronts he remembered from his college years in Indiana—visible from miles away, gathering strength over time. Todd had spent years serving faithfully behind the scenes at The Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, Texas, helping stabilize, shepherd, and support leaders through significant transition. But by 2023, the pressure of ministry conflict, grief, physical pain, and a changing sense of calling began to converge.

What followed became a defining leadership season.

Todd’s story is not simply about suffering. It is about what happens when a leader who is used to carrying weight discovers he was never meant to carry it alone.

The Storm That Had Been Building

For years, Todd served as the kind of leader every strong organization needs: steady, capable, faithful, and willing to work behind the scenes. He helped carry vision, support teams, and strengthen leadership environments through seasons of disruption.

But storms often begin before we name them.

Todd described a growing sense, beginning around 2018 and 2019, that God might be preparing something new in Austin. He could not define it, but he could not shake it. Then came 2020: a global pandemic, organizational pressure, and the transition of a founding pastor into a new assignment. For Todd, the years that followed were filled with stabilizing, serving, and shepherding through difficulty.

By late spring and summer of 2023, the storm intensified. Conflict was rising. A major ministry event was approaching. Todd was carrying grief from the death of a friend who had served the Lord overseas. His family was saying goodbye to a meaningful cabin in the Pacific Northwest. Then shingles hit. Soon after, his body began to shut down.

For two weeks, Todd could barely get out of bed. He experienced intense nerve pain, fear, and disorientation. The leader who had so often helped others remain steady in the storm found himself face down, crying out to God.

When Strength Meets Its Limit

One of the most powerful moments in Todd’s story is not that he endured pain. It is what the pain revealed.

Todd realized he was afraid of something he had not yet fully faced: a life of immobility. The possibility that he might not be able to move freely or use his body the way he always had brought him to a deeper place of surrender.

That is what storms often do. They reveal the fears beneath our confidence. They expose the places where self-reliance has quietly replaced dependence. They show us that leadership is not proven by never breaking down, but by learning where to turn when we do.

Todd had to wrestle with a hard question: Could there still be joy if the circumstances did not change?

His answer did not come through quick relief. It came through faith. He clung to the promise that God is present in suffering, that the Holy Spirit can produce joy even in pain, and that Jesus remains faithful even when the storm does not immediately pass.

The Gift of Not Walking Alone

Then came a turning point.

As Todd lay in pain, he sensed the Spirit prompting him: “Go to Ryan’s house.”

Ryan was a neighbor, friend, and colleague. Todd hobbled over to his house, knocked on the door, and was welcomed in. On the back patio, the dam broke. Todd poured out what he had been carrying inside—his fear, pain, grief, confusion, and exhaustion.

That moment became catalytic.

Todd realized he could not continue as a fiercely independent, self-reliant, broad-shouldered leader who carried weight without vulnerability. He needed people. He needed a herd.

That is central to the Be the Bison message. Bison do not survive storms by scattering. They move together. They face the storm with strength, but not in isolation.

Leadership requires courage, but courage is not the same as isolation. Strong leaders learn to step forward, and they also learn to let others step close.

When the Storm Continues

Todd’s storm did not end in two weeks.

In many ways, 2024 became what he described as a year of wandering in the desert. He knew he was no longer called to continue in the same kingdom assignment, but he did not yet know what was next. After pouring more than two decades into one place and one mission, he had to trust God one day at a time.

That kind of uncertainty is its own storm.

Many leaders want clarity before obedience. Todd’s story reminds us that sometimes God gives daily bread, not the full map. Sometimes He gives a pillar of cloud and fire, not a five-year plan. Sometimes perseverance is not about charging ahead with confidence, but continuing to walk when the next step is all you have.

Todd learned that God may not remove the storm immediately, but He is faithful to guide His people through it.

The Leadership Lesson: Perseverance Produces Hope

The word that rises from Todd’s story is perseverance.

Not polished perseverance. Not inspirational-poster perseverance. The real kind—the kind formed through pain, grief, uncertainty, humility, and dependence.

Perseverance produces character. Character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint.

Todd’s storm revealed a deeper dependence on God, a renewed understanding of joy in suffering, and a humbler way of leading. He emerged with a clearer sense that Jesus is more precious than ever, not because the storm was easy, but because God was faithful in it.

For leaders, the takeaway is clear:

You do not have to pretend the storm is not real.
You do not have to carry the weight alone.
You do not have to know the whole path before taking the next faithful step.

But you do have to keep moving toward the storm with courage, clarity, humility, and trust.

That is what it means to Be the Bison.

Call to Action

Every leader will face a storm. The question is not whether adversity will come, but how you will move when it does.

Will you isolate, or will you let trusted people walk with you?
Will you cling to control, or will you receive daily bread?
Will you wait for the storm to disappear, or will you follow God faithfully through it?

To hear more conversations about courageous leadership, perseverance, and what it means to lead into the storm, visit solidleaders.com/bethebison.